Perfectionism in marriage

17: 9 Transformations You Want (and Need) to Have in Your Marriage

Today on the podcast I will be talking about the nine transformations you want (and need!) to have in your marriage.  Some of these things might be going well for you and your spouse, while some of the others might need some serious work.  I have discussed these transformations with hundreds of couples in my private practice as well as close friends.    

Make sure to tune in and stay until the end because I have a treat for all of you who are ready to light your marriage on fire in 2020!  

9 Transformations:

  1. You want to calm down anger in your marriage 
  2. You want to reconnect with their spouse 
  3. You want to have a voice that’s heard 
  4. You want your spouse to understand where you are coming from, even if they don’t agree 
  5. You want to create a lasting relationship free from worrying about disconnect
  6. You want emotional and physical intimacy that stands the test of time
  7. You want to feel like a priority to your spouse
  8. You want to look forward to coming home 
  9. You want to reconnect with your BFF (your spouse!)

These are the 9 transformations people want in their marriage. Are you wondering how you can go about making these changes? The first thing you have to do is to start looking at YOU and your impact on things. 

If you go straight into a discussion trying to correct any of these things and coming across as attacking, you are going to have a hard time figuring it out. I encourage you to start using the word “I” instead of ‘you”.  Instead of saying “you need to do the laundry” try saying “I would love it if you would take the kids out of the house for a few hours so I can do the laundry”. Doesn’t that statement sound much less aggressive and attacking towards your spouse?

After you listen to the episode, I want you to email me directly at and tell me which of the 9 transformations you relate with.  Which ones would you love for me to cover on an upcoming podcast episode? 

After you email me, be sure to head over to and sign up for my FREE beta course called SPARK.  This course will help you reignite your marriage like you just said I do.  Who doesn’t want that?! It’s going to hit on every one of these transformations and will tell you exactly how you can change it.  

SPARK will be full of actionable, detailed information that you can take home to reignite your marriage.  As a bonus, I will be going live every week for 3 weeks in our group to answer all of your questions so get them ready! 

Make sure to sign up at

I will see you all here next week! 



Additional Resources:


Take Your Marriage From Roommate Status to on FIRE –> Married Roommates

Subscribe to the Podcast

Follow Amy on Instagram 

Follow Amy on Facebook

Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to the podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today so you don’t miss any future episodes! I already have so many amazing guests and topics lined up, I would hate for you to miss a single one!  Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Could I ask a big favor? If you are loving the podcast, I would LOVE it if you would leave me a review on Apple Podcasts.  Jon and read each and every one! It also helps other people find the podcast!  Wondering how to leave a review? Click on the Apple Podcasts link to review, then select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”.  So easy! 


Be the first to comment

I’m a small-town Oklahoma girl living the big city life in Houston, Texas with even BIGGER dreams. I was an elementary school teacher turned marriage and family therapist with a passion for helping families live their best lives.

About Amy

the categories

Jesus' Daughter, Wife, Mom, CEO, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, High-Performance Business Coach, Podcast Host, & Professional Taco-Eater