Pursuer and Distancer: Understanding the Patterns to Break Free

God's Daughter, Wife of 21 years, Mom to 3 Teenagers, Dog Mom to 4, Marriage Counselor, Private Practice Owner, and the list goes on and on! LOL! Oh and let's not forget often quirky, sometimes sassy, and lover of tacos. 

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Pursuer and Distancer: Understanding the Patterns to Break Free

May 7, 2020

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Do you feel like there is a Grand Canyon between you and your spouse? Do you always fall into the tendency of seeking connection and feeling rejected? If so, you might be in a Pursuer-Distancer pattern, and you don't even know it!

In this episode, hear Jon and I uncover how we fall into the same Pursuer-Distancer trap and who plays which role. Listen to our unguarded conversation as we own our mistakes, share our crazy thoughts and inclinations, and reveal where the problem really lies.

 

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • How the Coronavirus has impacted our family and business
  • How a pursuer and distancer react differently in high stress
  • Why a distancer gets tagged as ‘emotionally unavailable’
  • Why it is difficult for men to show their vulnerable side 
  • Getting from the pursuer-distancer status to “frozen tundra”
  • Blaming the pattern vs. the person

Understanding the Pursuer-Distancer pattern and your part in it is the first step toward breaking out of it. You took the first step today by listening to this podcast episode.

If you are seeing an unhealthy pattern in your marriage and want to learn more about how to communicate with your spouse, I have something for you. Join the 3 Days to Reignite Your Marriage Communication Bootcamp to develop a custom communication blueprint with your spouse based on your communication style. Join in today and Reignite Your Marriage!

XO,
Amy

 

Resources Mentioned: 

We have LOTS of resources available for you right now, so be sure to email us at hello@amywine.com, jump on our email list, or follow us on social media. 

Don’t forget to join us live every Tuesday & Thursday from [12:00]-[12:30] CST on the Amy Wine Counseling Center Facebook page for Coffee With a Counselor. 

Amy Wine Counseling Instagram

SPARK: Re-Ignite Your Marriage will be relaunching in May, so make sure to jump on the waitlist. 

Stay tuned for our finance workshop for couples >> Money and Marriage.  This workshop will help you and your spouse quit fighting about your finances and start talking about them!  Now is the perfect time to get on the same page and take forward action to set yourself up for financial success.

 

Quotes: 

“You're the only one that can fix you.” - Jon

“Anger is like a low boil and it's bubbling and bubbling and bubbling and eventually it's going to explode.” - Amy

“It's the pattern, it's not the person that's the problem in the relationship.” - Amy

 

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:

The Power of Change, Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust with Jena Flores

Keeping Your Life In Control In Times of Crisis

Are You Out of Bounds? 7 Ways You May Be Crossing the Line in Your Marriage

 

Additional Resources:

Subscribe to the Podcast

Follow Amy on Instagram 

Follow Amy on Facebook

 

Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to the podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today so you don’t miss any future episodes! I already have so many amazing guests and topics lined up, I would hate for you to miss a single one!  Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Could I ask a big favor? If you are loving the podcast, I would LOVE it if you would leave me a review on Apple Podcasts.  Jon and read each and every one! It also helps other people find the podcast!  Wondering how to leave a review? Click on the Apple Podcasts link to review, then select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”.  So easy! 

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God's Daughter, Wife of 21 years, Mom to 3 Teenagers, Dog Mom to 4, Marriage Counselor, Private Practice Owner, and the list goes on and on! LOL! Oh and let's not forget often quirky, sometimes sassy, and lover of tacos. 

I'm amy wine

Hey!

Explore

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