5: A Child’s Perspective on Fighting in a Marriage

On today’s episode of the Marriage on Fire podcast I have a surprise guest on the show! My own daughter Ali.  I am excited to have her on the show and have to admit, it’s a little scary having her on here, because I will be asking her some questions that I have never asked her before.  Jon and I had some dark times in our marriage and for a couple of years, all we did was fight. Luckily, we came out on the other side, so I am excited to have my daughter on the show to chat with all of you! 

On Today’s Episode We Chat About:

  • Ali’s first year of college and missing her family 
  • How Jon and I communicated in the beginning
  • How the negative cycles in our marriage impacted the kids when they were young
  • The impact of the fighting on Ali’s friendships 
  • The impact of our fighting on Ali’s eating habits 
  • How our relationship was affected when I had to reset boundaries 
  • How I worried about the mistakes I made and how they would affect my kids 
  • Ali’s admission to not feeling loved when her dad and I were fighting 
  • The difference in Ali now that Jon and I stopped fighting at all the time
  • Why Ali wished Jon and I would have just divorced a long time ago
  • How Jon and I thought we were hiding our fights, yet Ali says this was not the case
  • How Ali used staying away from the house as an avoidance measure 
  • The importance of communication in relationships, even in the beginning 
  • The only way to survive our marriage was to reset it 
  • How I push back on boundaries now and how different it is from the past 
  • How we could have helped our kids during the rough years 
  • What we could have done differently with our kids when the fighting was going on
  • What questions I could have asked to get the kids to open up more when they were younger 
  • What Ali felt she needed more from me when growing up 
  • What Ali felt she needed more from Jon when growing up 

Alright guys, that wraps up another episode! I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Ali.  I loved having her on the show today. I want you to make sure to tune in and listen to the podcast.  You will see how fighting in your marriage can affect your kids (even long after). Make sure you check in with your kids and be there for them.  So many kids come into my office and admit that they wish their parents would just divorce because of all of the fighting. I hope you work hard on your marriage!  Jon and I made it through world war 3, so I know you can change things! I have seen it in my office hundreds of times. 

Make sure to reach out and let me know what you thought of the episode.  These types of episodes are so vulnerable for me, but I know that a lot of people don’t have access to counseling, so I started this podcast as a way to bring help and encouragement to you for free…. Any time of the day. 

Thanks so much for listening and make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode. 


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I’m a small-town Oklahoma girl living the big city life in Houston, Texas with even BIGGER dreams. I was an elementary school teacher turned marriage and family therapist with a passion for helping families live their best lives.

About Amy

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Jesus' Daughter, Wife, Mom, CEO, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, High-Performance Business Coach, Podcast Host, & Professional Taco-Eater