Clinging to Hope

I took a very long hike this morning to try and settle my anxiety and rapid fire thoughts into something that makes sense regarding the school shooting tragedy in Uvalde, Texas yesterday. This is typically something that works well. It usually clears my mind, dissipates the stress in my body, and brings me closer to God. Today, I was unsuccessful. There is no making “sense” of what happened…again.

I know I want to be a light for anyone in darkness or sliding towards it. I’ve been in the dark, alone and I want to be a small glimmer of hope for anyone there no matter their circumstances. I believe God has asked this of me.

To walk alongside you in the darkness.

Yet, here I sit not quite able to find the words to be the light.

I feel not capable, not worthy, not able to know what to say. So I’m praying for God to use His words through me and I’m going to simply write from my heart and hope it provides some glimmer for someone.

I’ve been led to read the Bible in a year and I am currently in the middle of the book of Job. The question the book of Job asks is, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” This particular book asks us to wrestle with deep questions and urges us to bring them to God. I’m only just finishing chapter 15 so I don’t have any grand answers to this question. However, it is not lost on me that this is what I’m reading right now and can share about, even in my limited knowledge.

This is also comes from a place of finding it hard in my humanness to trust God in times such as this when making sense of the senseless is impossible. I keep thinking that a crucified Savior did not make sense to the world either, but through it we found hope and light in eternal life and union with Christ.

We know there is evil in our midst; we fight against it everyday.

Why doesn’t God simply stop it? I don’t know.

Why didn’t God step in the middle and change the trajectory of these acts against innocent children? I don’t know.

Why doesn’t God allow us to see the outcome of His glorious plan? I don’t know.

I have to believe there is good that will in time shine even if we can’t see it from the darkness right now. I have to cling to this hope even if it’s a thin thread threatening to break.

It was just four days ago that I started reading the book of Job, studying the scripture. Right now, I want to dive in deeply to uncover any answers I can find for you. But right now, here are the things I’ve already learned about God.

He is sovereign, over all things.
His ways are much higher than our ways and even though we don’t understand them, we can trust Him.
The wisdom of God is greater than the wisdom of men.
The world does not understand the way the kingdom of God works.
God is abundant in wisdom and strength.
God takes things we cannot understand and uses them to bring about His eternal purposes in His grand story of redemption.
God is loving, merciful, gracious, and kind.

Romans [12:15] asks us to “weep for those who weep.” in this moment it is simply all I can do.

However, I do know that something else is coming and there will be a time, very soon, that mental health has to be addressed in a BIG way. The system is broken and we as a community, all of us here on earth, have to take a hard look because our children deserve that from us.

Please join me in praying for the families of the teachers and babies that were killed, the survivors, school personnel, the law enforcement and emergency personnel that responded to this horrific scene, the doctors and nurses, their community as a whole, and each and every person affected in any way (including You reading this).

Tragedies are becoming prevalent in our children’s world. We want parents and guardians to feel equipped to manage those feelings of helplessness, and to not shy away from asking for more help when having these discussions with children. Here are a few ways to support and talk to your children during a tragedy.

If you or your child is having a difficult time processing events like this, kindly contact a counseling service near you.

Please know that I am here to walk alongside you.