There is a verse in the Bible that I find myself having a difficult time grasping the reality of its truth in my heart.  This is not because I don’t believe it to be true, but because I am not sure my heart is capable of this type of love. Here it is:

1 John 3:1-3 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

I have sat and asked myself what is it that I find hardest to believe about God’s level of love for me. And the answer is: ALL OF IT!  But if I am struggling to believe all of it, can I still believe in God?  The answer is yes, I believe in God, but why does my heart and head not fully trust His words to me?  Simply put, I find it unimaginable to love that much without judgement.  I’m also not sure I fully understand His level of love.

His love is difficult for me to accept and receive.  I’ve often wondered the cause of this resistance on my part and I believe it stems from sin of mine, shame, lack of self-worth, and simple belief that I am worthy of this type of love from Him.

In this verse, I believe John was saying, “Can’t you see it?  The love of God surrounds us with evidence, are you looking?”  This truly can be a reality for me and you, an absolute reality, but we can be so emotionally unhealthy that we refuse to experience it.  We refuse to absorb it into our hearts and minds.  You see, God’s love is perfectly healthy whereas ours is often not. Our unhealthy hearts not only condemn us, but others as well. I’ve seen many marriages destroyed because one spouse refused to accept the reality of the other spouse’s love for him or her. 

Who am I to decide God can’t be trusted and that he doesn’t unconditionally love me? Why do I feel I can pick and choose what to believe of his love?  My heart in the real world can be very deceitful and destructive all on its own.  My heart is unhealthy.  While I was raised in a severely dysfunctional home, you don’t have to be to have an unhealthy heart.  All we have to do is expose ourselves to life, which can be heartless and mean.  Simply put, life hurts!

So I am making a commitment right now to turn to God to heal me from the destruction of life.  I’m asking Him to help me turn my heart to full health so that I can live an abundant life in an unhealthy world.  But, more importantly, so that I can be what He has asked of me, a light to others.  I know God can heal our hearts no matter what got it into such a condition.  Because as long as our hearts are still beating, it’s worth healing!