The Power of the Tongue: How to Use the Spiritual Pause Button to Make Your Words Tools for Growth

23: How to Stop Defending and Start Listening

How often do you find yourself in a situation where someone starts talking to you and you are immediately thinking ahead to your defense or rebuttal? 

I want you to think about it for a moment because you might be doing this more than you realize. If you reach the conclusion that you’re not always listening to hear, it’s okay! We’re going to work on it together in this episode. 

We’re talking about how to stop defending and start listening in a way that allows you to really hear what people are trying to tell you. 

Whether you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, children, friends, or co-workers, this is a vital skill to have. 

In This Episode, You’ll Discover:

  • What non-verbal attending is 
  • Why you need to stay quiet while someone is talking to you 
  • How to reflect someone’s thoughts or feelings back to them
  • The value of open-ended questions 
  • What steps you can take to become a better listener
  • The power of connection 
  • How to accept your weaknesses in order to improve 
  • Why you need to stop defending and start listening 
  • Why people get defensive when they receive feedback 
  • Ways people use defensive strategies when they feel challenged, criticized, or corrected 

You want the people around you to trust you to take responsibility for your actions and feel comfortable talking to you about anything. 

Truly confident people are able to listen respectfully to other people’s perspectives without feeling the need to defend themselves. 

If you want to become that person, this episode is going to help you get there. 

God designed us to work and to rest. You might think it’s impossible to find time for rest in your busy life, but your body needs it. How do you implement rest in this crazy modern world? Go to to find out the 7 types of God-given rest and get a free 30-day plan to integrate them into your life. 



Resources Mentioned:

7 Types of God-Given Rest 30-Day Plan

Additional Resources:

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I’m a small-town Oklahoma girl living the big city life in Houston, Texas with even BIGGER dreams. I was an elementary school teacher turned marriage and family therapist with a passion for helping families live their best lives.

About Amy

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Jesus' Daughter, Wife, Mom, CEO, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, High-Performance Business Coach, Podcast Host, & Professional Taco-Eater