The Problem with “Let Them” for High Achievers
By now, you’ve likely heard of the “Let Them” theory by Mel Robbins
Let them talk.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them think you’ve changed.
Let them leave.
It’s a catchy message. It feels empowering—especially when you’re tired of explaining, defending, or contorting yourself to fit other people’s expectations.
But here’s the thing…
For high-achieving entrepreneurs, married professionals, and leaders who carry the weight of their family, business, and faith—“Let Them” doesn’t hit deep enough.
Because letting others go is not the hardest part.
The hardest part is giving yourself permission to stop striving.
The Real Work: Saying “It’s Okay”
Let’s talk about the thing nobody posts about—the private unraveling behind your public strength.
✅ It’s okay to need space and not know how to ask for it.
✅ It’s okay if your marriage feels like it’s drifting and you don’t know how to fix it.
✅ It’s okay if your health is suffering because you’ve prioritized everything but yourself.
✅ It’s okay if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning who you even are anymore.
We’ve been conditioned to “push through,” “rise above,” and “figure it out.”
But there comes a point where you don’t need another productivity hack.
You need a pause.
You need clarity.
You need the courage to be honest with yourself.
And that starts with a phrase we don’t hear enough:
“It’s okay to be where you are right now.”
Not forever. Not as an excuse. But as a starting point.
Why “It’s Okay” Feels Like Giving Up (And Why It’s Not)
If you’re wired for results, built for achievement, and used to operating at high capacity… slowing down can feel like failure.
But here’s what I want you to hear:
Giving yourself permission to pause isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
This is where deep transformation begins.
Not when everything’s perfect.
Not when you’ve checked every box.
But when you stop pretending you’re supposed to carry it all, all the time.
A Moment That Changed Me
Not long ago, I had a moment. One of those silent, staring-at-the-wall-in-the-middle-of-the-day moments.
I had been running full speed: clients, content, business, family—all while trying to hold my marriage, health, and identity together.
Then I hit a wall. Hard. And the only thought I had in that moment was: “I can’t keep this up.”
No lightning bolt. No clear next step. Just stillness—and the smallest whisper of a thought:
“What if it’s okay to not have the answers right now?”
That one question shifted everything.
It didn’t fix my life, but it gave me the space to face it.
How to Actually Know Where You Are
You don’t need to stay stuck in vague overwhelm.
That’s why I created the Thrive Life Inventory (TLI)—a tool I use with high-achieving entrepreneurs and couples to get real clarity on where life is thriving… and where it’s quietly unraveling.
The TLI helps you evaluate 10 life domains that matter:
- Faith
- Physical health
- Emotional well-being
- Marriage
- Parenting
- Finances
- Adventure
- Wisdom
- Relationships
- Business
In less than 10 minutes, you’ll know exactly which areas are draining you and which ones are ready for growth.
Because when you can see it clearly, you can finally stop spinning—and start moving with intention.
You Don’t Have to Tackle It All
Here’s the takeaway:
You don’t need to fix everything today.
But you do need to know where you are.
So if you’ve been holding your breath, bracing for burnout, or carrying the unspoken fear that you’re falling behind…
Take one step toward clarity.
Let this be the moment you say:
“It’s okay. And I’m ready to see what’s really going on.”
April 11, 2025
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